The Simplicity of Honesty

 

I have been reading the “Exquisite Risk” by Mark Nepo and I took a picture of this chapter because I really want to share it with you.  This is one of those books that found me and his words are exactly what I need to hear right now.

I have done a wonderful job at physically simplifying my life.  I live in a bus, I share a car with my boyfriend, I have parred down my wardrobe, I cook and eat healthy food, I am able to create time for myself, and I garden.  Yet, the inner peace I thought simplifying my life would provide still eludes me.

As a girl, the characters I most admired were the revolutionaries, the warriors, the singers,  the teachers and poets.  As a young woman I tried to be these characerts.  I approached what ever I was doing with the desire to help people and the environment and while there is nothing wrong with that, I was pursuing that desire without being aware that I was also searching for something else: peace.  The kind of peace that can only come from being seen and recognized for who you truly are.  I struggle with work, because I don’t feel seen. I feel like a shadow of myself when I am there.  I realize now that when I feel like quitting work and running out the door, my real desire is to use such a bold action as  if to say to myself, family, friends, and community: “This isn’t me goddamnit!  Being a receptionist is not all of who I am.  I am Amanda.  I love being outside and getting dirty.  I am a revolutionary in my own way. My passion is homesteading and entomophagy, and helping people reconnect with nature!!!!!!”

Maybe if I can be aware of what I am searching for I can be more honest with who I am and what I want to do with my life.  If I am not searching for fame and just peace, how might that change my actions and life path?  How can I can satisfy my need to be seen without the grandeur of fame?  How can I see myself and honor who I truly am?  These are questions I will think on for a bit and in the meantime I want to practice noticing when others are just asking to be seen for who they are and honor them:)

 

 

 

 

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Author: Action is Eloquence

I live in Grants Pass, Oregon with my wonderful boyfriend and am in the process of re-imagining a new life for myself! I just moved from Portland where I spent the last 11 years on a metaphorical runway and now am ready to take off. College, a marriage, several customer service jobs, death, fear and shyness were all teachers, but it's time for me to take what I learned and use my talents to make a better life for myself and give back to the community. I have a passion for helping people remember their relationship with nature. I went to Portland State University where I earned my Masters in Educational Leadership and Policy with a specialization in Sustainability Education. I enjoy blogging because it is a way for me to help others regain this relationship and learn how to care for the Earth by living more simply and mindfully. Traditional cooking, natural building, living simply, permaculture and ecopsychology are my favorite subjects and I have a new obsession with eating bugs as a way to help live a more sustainable life. I only appear quiet and reserved until someone gets me going any of these topics!

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